Entitled mom tries to take out credit card in 23-year-old daughter's name, gets offended when she refuses it: 'I'm just starting to get a handle on my finances'

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  • a woman holds a mobile phone next to a card machine while sitting down
  • My mom tried to open a credit card in my name “for my own good”

    So this happened a couple months ago and I still don't really know how to feel about it. I'm 23 and just starting to get a handle on my finances. I've been using a debit card, paying rent, bills, all that on my own since I moved out.
  • Anyway, one day I get an email from a credit card company saying my application was "received." The thing is, I never applied for anything. I thought it was a scam at first, but when I called, they confirmed it was my info. My name, address, even my SSN.
  • After freaking out for an hour, I called my mom. She immediately said, "Oh yeah, that was me. I thought I'd help you build credit faster." Like... without telling me??
  • a woman lies in bed, holding her phone and looking at the back of a credit card
  • She said she used my info to apply for a card that she'd "manage" until I got more established. I told her that's not how this works, it's literally illegal to open accounts in someone else's name, even if it's your kid. She got super defensive, said I was being ungrateful and "should be thankful" she was trying to help me.
  • We argued for a bit and she ended up hanging up on me. She told my aunt later that I "blew up at her for trying to be a good mom." I spent the next week cleaning up the mess, freezing my credit, calling the bank, making sure nothing else was opened. Thankfully, I caught it early, so it didn't stick.
  • But honestly, it just made me realize how much my mom still sees me as a kid she can manage, not an adult with my own life. I love her, but man... that crossed a line.
  • a woman lies in bed, holding her phone and looking at the front of a credit card
  • Commenters did not react well to the mom's actions.

    4zero4error31 This is the textbook definition of credit card fraud, she should be terrified you'll report her, not angry you don't "want her help"
  • stangAce20 I would be talking a lot about pressing charges for fraud if she ever tried that crap again!
  • Crinklytoes So, sorry that she has been hyper- controlling your life and has entered into the criminal realm of stealing your identity. Freezing your credit reports can be supplemented with a fraud alert, too. Hopefully that police report you will be filing will deter her from continuing her boundary violations, and future crimes.
  • • Control freaks' stereotypical reaction is to get super defensive, and to say that you're being ungrateful and should be thankful for their ridiculously illegal everything. • I'm guessing that she was not trying to help you, but was proceeding as she has always done (deliberately violating boundaries to maintain control)
  • • What else has she been doing? Sorry for asking, because your post indicates she might have infiltrated into sabotaging other parts of your life, too, maybe?
  • CartographerFar5094 Mom of adult children here, I would NEVER!!!! She wasn't trying to help you. What does she mean she'd manage it? No, she was going to use it!!! Hell no this is obviously illegal but soooo much more.
  • mcchillz I don't think she sees you as a kid. I think she is willing to use you for her own personal needs. Wouldn't be surprised if she maxed it out and then couldn't keep up with the minimum payment. Glad you caught her early!
  • RedLevelRelic76 My mother opened 4 cards in my name, didn't pay them and ruined my credit.
  • Ladydi-bds Very sorry and glad you caught it quickly. Hopefully she doesn't try this again.
  • Otter-of-Ketchikan Lock your credit down. Now.
  • blackwillow-99 She wasn't helping she was just hoping she could do what she wanted before you noticed. Look into getting a pin for your social.

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